♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- men and women cannot be friends Start typing... It's me. My lack of trust, my lack of self-confidence. Mix in a lack of libido and BAM! I did it again. Last night I made soup, later J went to get another bowl of it. While he was upstairs I looked at his phone. I know. I won't try to explain or defend myself. There has been one girl he works with, they hang out quite often. She is a bit younger (but then again, aren't they all?). After work they sometimes get together, smoke a bit of pot and who knows. She seems nice enough, I like her. But lately the relationship has seemed different. He would usually say when they were hanging out, now I find out afterward, or phone when she's there. Also, there used to be more people when they would hang out, now it is the two of them. A few nights ago he phoned me and said they were hanging out, I had just finished class, downtown, far away. What can I say? "Umm, so, it's just the two of you? smoking pot, in your small room with a bed and couch? Sounds... cozy" Back to last night. He went upstairs for another bowl of soup, I open his messages. There is one from J saying "My dad asked me last night if I"m cheating on V because last night he got up to go pee and saw some girl throwing rocks against my window." A few nights later, "yeah you can come over, I'm home from work and just got out of the shower" her message back "too bad I was hoping we could shower together." His saving message was "stunned!" I do not think anything has happened... yet. It is one of those relationships where it starts out with a girl, a guy, they are friends. They watch a movie, it gets cold, there is a blanket, maybe a little cuttle. Awkwardness ensues, they stop for a week or two, but realize they enjoy each others company, so they make another plan to see each other. This time it is a movie, they know there is going to be cuddling, but swear to themselves there will be nothing more. Maybe there isn't. But one day, a call comes, maybe a text, asking if they want to hang out, probably at his place. A little too much toking, a little to chilly out and there it is folks. BAM! The worst part? I want to make a big deal. But I cannot bring myself to do it. I want him to make the choice, though I fear I know what it will be. It is his to make. I, of course, have concocted multiple scenarios. My favourite: he approaches me, probably teary eyed, and tells me what happened. And while I am upset, probably crying myself, tell him, "I know", even when there was no way I could know. He'll ask, I'll tell my scenario, the girl, the guy, I knew it was inevitable, but it was a choice he had to make. Bottom line- men and women cannot be friends. 9:05 a.m. - 2010-09-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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