♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I think I've established over the years that I have major trust issues. I don't know why, I mean, there were a few instances when I was younger that would cause me to be reserved. I think my life has become more balanced, there are people who I should trust, but I don't. Maybe it's a reflection of the fact that I shouldn't be trusted therefore I don't trust others. Makes sense to me. I mean, with J I am the one who has slipped in faithfulness. I have extremely loose morals, and never hold myself accountable. Yep, think I figured out my own issues. So how do I learn to trust myself, my instincts and become a better person? That I will leave for another time. Obviously this thought has stemmed from something that I've done. I question with the ending was the result of my meddling, maybe I will find out. As I was saying... I have trust issues. It isn't all that rare for me to poke my little jealous nose where it doesn't belong. That usually is someone's fb account, or email. Well, used to be email. That was the first password to change. The second was fb, which I noticed today. Does this mean I was caught red handed? Again, I don't know why I do it, there is never anything of consequence on there, well, except for that one time. But I continued to lets say, monitor from a distance. It was a way to keep my trust levels higher. I know that is ridiculous and that I should have my hands chained to my side. So enough trying to justify myself. I am now curious if I did something that caused red tape. You know, the 'hey it looks like someone hacked into my account' type of tape. Now I'm left with the feeling of should I say something, hint? Let it be the way it is? I mean, I could be off the mark and feeling guilty of my shortcomings as a girlfriend. Bah, if I was a good person to start with I wouldn't even be in this situation. Damn my loose morals 3:39 p.m. - 2010-07-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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