♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - too much caffeine and too little food. it's a fitful habit i've gotten into. caffeine is an appetite repressant and food is just, well, a filler that i don't need. today on my way back from manning i realized i had a 1/4 bowl of oatmeal, a mandarin orange, and 2 large coffees. now at 5:10 i'm having a granola bar. and i wondered why i couldn't stop shaking on my way to work? i know this can't carry on for ever. but i don't want it to end at the same time. i ache to look like those woman in vogue. it sounds all so childish, and i realize that. i know i can be that way though, if i just keep my mind on my goal. i've been on tv, in the style column of the paper, i know i could be there again. if only i could just drop these last couple pounds. i was 13 then. it's sad. i don't even know when steve is coming back from mexico. i think it is going to be any day now. i wonder if things will be the same? or if being in mexico around all those young women has tainted his perception of me. sitting here, holding my head in my hands, i wonder if i told him the truth about me if he'd run for the high hills, or if he'd be supportive. 5:09 p.m. - 2006-01-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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