♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you
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fuck
fuck
fuck
why do i do this to myself all the time? just when i'm starting to get ahead, i go and spend all my money on stupid shit like clothes and earrings. on top of it, my nail polish stained my nails black and now i'm sounding so feminine i could shoot myself.
yesterday wasn't a bad day. i wasn't feeling the urge to make the jump, so that alone makes it better than most. today however... i don't know how i do all this stupid shit. i bought my moms present... $175, helga's bday present... $80 and crystal's xmas present... $30. i still have robbie, grandma and my dad, not to mention kim and crystals bday present. oh, and the shipping on crystal's. i mean, i guess i did okay, i just feel like i don't deserve to spend all this money on me. especially when i'm thinking about moving to vietnam
oh vietnam. my longing gets greater and greater every day. when one thousand here doesn't cover your rent you live like a fucking queen there. tailored suits every day, penthouse suite... for $1,000!!! something has gone very wrong in my life. oh well, i'll flunk out of school and then work towards my life there.
9:13 p.m. - 2005-11-24
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