♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - These past few days have induced a whirlwind of emotions on me. Living with J has been easier than I thought it would be, though we are still obviously in the �honeymoon� phase. Living with him has made me realize how little we actually do to contribute to anything. We unpack a little, set something up, then sit on the couch and drink wine/beer in the evening. We have no hobbies. We have nothing to do, not activities. You hear of people after work or in the evening having so much they need to accomplish. They need to pick things up, drop things off, make appointments, make plans. We do nothing. We sit, watch Shameless and don�t move for 2 hours unless it is to refill our glass. That irks me. I want to be more productive, I want to do something. But I don�t know what. His lack of motivation makes me less motivated and probably vice versa. This morning I woke up and had to go back to work. It was my first day since moving. Of course, J isn�t working right now and got to lay in bed while I bust my ass to get to work. It isn�t his fault. I know it isn�t. And I don�t resent him for not having a job, I just resent that he gets to lie in this warm, cozy bed while I run around trying to find a matching shirt to my slacks. Then I get a msg, he�s signed up for a food course and has taken chicken out for dinner tonight. That is lovely, I am happy you are taking a step in the right direction, but we really need to pick up the pace. YOU really need to pick up the pace. It is up to you to find places to apply to. It is up to you to go talk things out with your former boss. This isn�t up to me. I shouldn�t have to remind and push you to do these things. You should be motivating yourself to do them for you. Then there is the companionship. So far, I like having him around. It�s nice. We are comfortable with each other so we don�t need to say much. I can just sit there and have peace while he is in another room. There�s so much more to update on. But I�m thinking I may leave work a little early so I can get home before him and rest up. There�s another side to things.... Reminder: need to update about losing my brakes right before a big ass hill yesterday. (!!!) 4:14 p.m. - 2011-09-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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