♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Things have been okay lately, kind of. I wanted to check almost as a check to make sure my account was still active. Every once in awhile I get this anxiety, like I'm afraid it will get shut down. I always come here when I am thinking about an old infatuation. Maybe because this was an area of sanction for me during those days. I do some sort of internet search, and then I log on to here to say "I'm not over him". I guess this many years later it is safe to say that I will never be "over" him. Them. Whatever. I guess I'm regressing right now because I also am thinking of an old friend. Until I typed the above I didn't realize that there is a theme. I learned that a friend I went to school with passed away a little while ago. He was 27 years old. We stopped being friends when I realized I couldn't support him with my friendship while he was using meth. I was a teen when that happened, and I don't beat myself up, because a lot of adults wouldn't have been able to support that kind of friendship. But I carry a lot of regret that when he did get better, and when he reached out, that I wouldn't, couldn't, be friends with him again. I would run into him periodically around campus. He looked good. He was studying, was doing really well in his classes. I never would have suspected that he started using again. That's addiction. It takes a lot of those you least expect. Anyway, while out for dinner with an old friend she asked me if I knew about him. When I said I didn't she informed me that he passed away from a heroin overdose. It's just so fucking sad. It's just so fucking sad. 7:48 p.m. - 2014-03-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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