♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - on the 25th of this month i turn 25. my life hasn't changed one bit since i started this diary so many years ago. to mark my 'champagne' birthday, here is my top 25 list of things i would take back if i could, and the things i want to change. i'm letting it all go... 1. i wouldn't have told so many lies growing up. it is a lot easier to remember the truth than it is a web of lies 2. i wouldn't have slept with johnny 3. i wouldn't have slept with gabe 4. i wouldn't have left my mom in pain to talk to K on the phone (fuck i'm a bad person... i still can't forgive myself) 5. i want to smoke less weed 6. i want to focus more on my mental health and well being 7. i wouldn't have tried coke, though i now know for certain that hard drugs are BAD 8. i want to be more responsible with my money 9. i wish i took my previous jobs more seriously. and take on my new role more aggressively 10. i want to drink less 11. i wouldn't have stole that eraser in grade 4 12. i wouldn't have made tracey cry at graduation 13. that i took my education more seriously and not for granted 14. that i spent more time with my grandma 15. i wish i was more dependable. 16. that i was a better daughter and gave my parents more credit for who they are 17. that i could give up my fantasy made-up life and join reality. made-up= moving around everywhere, including cross county. reality= moved around the neighbourhood a couple time, always had my dads permanent home 18. i wish i wasn't so crazy towards the guys who weren't interested in me. i think i was kind of stalkerish, that doesn't bode well with me these years later. 19. i wish i could forget about some of the guys in my life 20. i wish i treated my friends better. maybe then they'd stick around 21. i wish when J tells me to trust him, that i trusted him 22. i wish i didn't quit everything i started 23. i want to start again the things i quit on, love being on the top of the list 24. i wish i could take back spying on J. it was wrong, and the consequences have rendered me more paranoid for no reason. NO REASON. 25. i wish i treated my cat better. starting with getting her a sitter while i'm on vacation you know. i thought i would feel better about that than i do. oh. and happy valentines day. 12:54 a.m. - 2010-02-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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