♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you

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who the fuck do i think i am? martha fucking stewart? last night i'm sitting in my room sipping a chilled glass of white wine, reading my book in front of the heater. then it hit me. who do i think i am?
let me put it this way; after smoking one in the garage i went back into the house to ponder more.

1) i pretend i can cook when half the time it's uncle bens rice with steamed veggies (from a frozen bag)
let's face it why don't we? if i boiled the rice, added the seasoning and chopped the vegetables to steam them, that would be cooking. but pouring the contents of a box/bag into a pot?

2) i pretend i can sew
on friday i spent $57 on fabric to make christmas cards for everyone. i'm cutting out trees and sewing them on cards with embroidered designs on them. I've cut out about 8... about 1 has turned out.
another example, i was going to make baby n a christmas doll. I sewed the stomach with only one side of the pattern showing.

3) i pretend i'm clean. i think i'm ogranized... but i'm not. i just spend 4 hours yesterday cleaning my ONE bedroom and when i woke up this morning it was already messy.

4) i pretend i have manners.
if you know me you know i don't have them.

5) i pretend i'm artistic
ie- the cards and doll i'm making

6) i pretend to be ladylike
i paint my nails almost everyday, then they chip off by the end. i blowdry my hair, which turns oily and stringy by the end

seriously people. i am NOT martha, yet i can't get it out of my mind that i CAN do these things. i dont' know why i keep attempting, only to realize that i've lost tons of money in fabric.

ba humbug.

4:06 p.m. - 2008-12-01

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