♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you
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Something is incredibly amuck in my life. I am a very fortunate person, and a very strong person. I've over come moving and seperations, deaths and an eating disorder. I thought I had over come my one true love. Marks presence was enough to get me through hard times, it was also enough to make me weak in the knees. Slowly, as time went by, I was learning to live without his support in the back ground.
Then it happened. I was at the gym, working with some weights, when his words clouded my head... "come back to me, i've lost you". It was like a storm inside my head, i triedd to shake the words out of my head, but i couldn't. All the memories of everytime we spent together came back to me, every good memory, and every bad. I had to leave the gym. I stood under the hottest water I could and tried to wash all of his words and blessings away. How can someone 5,000km away make such an impact on one's life? He's a person, he's not divine, not above average, he's a goddamned person!
Those words haunt me, 'come back to me, i've lost you'. Last night, as I was reading my novel, I thought of that one picture of us together in Nova Scotia, when he looked handsome and I looked happy. I forgot how hard it was to get over someone until he was back in my life. It had been so long, and I would push being tough and just getting over it as soon as possible to live your normal life again. I would say to friends that it was over, therefore move on, and I ment what I said. I would say people were wasting their time thinking about these people. It's all I can do to not think about him now, to not let him occupy every thought in my sleep and in the day.
I think I've honestly gone crazy.
10:57am - 2006-04-01
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