♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you
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Sitting at my desk, with a cup of irish cream coffee, i ask myself, when did i become so grown up?
next month i turn 21. not a child, not elderly. a time when confusion and hysterics are the norm. i sit here however, oddly calm. it's a wonderful feeling. i love my job, i'm applying to move up a position in the admissions dept.
when did i stop going to those all- night parties? when did going to the bar with everyone lose its appeal? about an hour ago i was going through the TD website looking at what GIC i want to invest in, can i contribute to my rsp's?
what kind of house or condo do i eventually want to buy? when can i realistically take out a loan for a house? i feel like i'm trying to make decisions that i'm too young to make. i mean, what 21 year old in her right mind is thinking about investing in a condo in the next 3 years?! i mean, if i am able to do it, and rent it out to have someone pay off my mortgage, it's a completely rational brilliant thought (in my humble opinion).
most people who go through life thinking that they have a family that's more weird than everyone elses. or that they've had more hardships than all of their friends put together. then, in reality, it is what every teenager faces, and it's really no harder than the next persons life. i'd like to say i had the same kind of life, the same, normal teenage years that most teens experience. and it's a social cliche to say that i'm different.
i just feel that some of my life experiences, coupled with my completely estranged parents, makes for some different hardships than a lot of young people have had to deal with. and in turn, it's made me an old soul at the young, ripe age of 21. i say that because, first, i'm reminded of that every week by someone older than i am. and secondly, my mentality, and my way of thinking in comparison to a lot of my friends who are 24 or even 25.
i guess 4 years is quite awhile away, however, i envision myself starting to settle down into something that i want to do career wise. laying next to someone i care about in bed everynight and planning our lives. maybe it's a little girls dream.
i don't know.
1:26 p.m. - 2006-01-14
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