♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you

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someone at my window

what is new with my life now? i guess there isn't too much. today i went for lunch with celina, and i had a house salad with ranch and grilled chicken. kim and i have this thing now, we're trying to lose weight, and cut back on the junk that we eat. so i went out a couple days ago, bought myself a month long gym pass, and i went to the gym for 50 minutes this morning. i know that isn't that long, but i did 35 minutes of cardio, and then 15 minutes of sit ups. i want to tone up a little bit. i know i'm not that big, in fact i'm not big at all, but when i'm laying down, i just see all this... eck. you get the point.
i've been working, and that really hot guy ryan came in, i tried to hit on him, but it didn't turn out all too well. i must develop some balls and just tell him how good looking i think he is. then it's out in the open, and if he's eligible, and interested then he can go from there. damn me and being all talk. that's how i got ben however. *but look at how that turned out*
i should really start to study now. i told myself i'd study for a couple of hours, but then i ended up going out for lunch, then playing hackey sack with pete. and now i'm writing a blog entry.
tim hasn't phoned me since sunday, i'm wondering if we're still doing something on saturday evening or not. i don't really want to phone him, because i'm almost sure that i'm going to tell him that i'm not interested when we get together. so i don't want to sound all eager, but i'd like to know if we're doing something so i can make other plans if not.
i've been smoking weed again lately, and that really bothers me, because i don't like the person i become when i'm stoned, and it makes me so unmotivated to do anything at all, especially school related. i figure once i'm out of what i have i should stop.
last night was fucking creepy. i was laying in bed and then i heard this noise, i was almost positive that someone was outside my window. anyway, i got over my paranoia, and when i was leaving my house this morning, someone had re-arranged the N on my jeep. moved it up to the front instead of it being on the back. i don't know who it was and it has me really scared. i phoned my dad and he said nothing was done to his truck. but what gets me the most was i KNEW someone was outside, and i just kept telling myself it was all in my head. then of course i find out it wasn't and it has me all weirded out.
anyway, this has been the longest rambling entry. so i'm going to go make an effort to study.

2:15 p.m. - 2005-03-03

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