♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you

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so... oh my hell, i have soo much news it is not even funny.
1) ben cheated on me. didn't have sex with anyone, but none the less cheated on me
2)i told him that we could work it out, and tried my hardest to maintain our relationship.
3)two days later he breaks up with me after telling me he loved me
4) tonight is the first time i saw him since, and he is acting strange (go figure)
5) i'm confused
there you have it
we talked and he said he loved me, and he loved everything about me, but he obviously couldn't be in a relationship if he could cheat on me. and he felt really bad, more than bad, he didn't know what to do with himself, and then i told him we could work it out, and then two days later he decides that he can't be in a relationship if he can do those kinds of things, so he needs time to himself to work them through, then he asks if he can still phone me when he works things through, and then tonight he kept looking over at me and told me that he talked to the girl and told her that they couldn't see eachother as friends or as anything else, which made me kind of happy. i don't know. i'm sad. i'm so sad, but i'm over cry, no man is worth feeling like this. tara wants to set me up with another one of her co-workers. it's too weird for me. though linden is a cutie. oh well. i don't know what to do about ben... what if he does call me? and he says he has all his shit figured out? do i try one more time to see if i can make it work? oh so confusing.
i have one more final to go, i think i bombed my philosophy one, but we'll see about that. anyway, bed time, it's after 3am.

2:59 a.m. - 2004-12-03

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