♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you

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should i stay or should i go now?

oh my hell, today i went to my dad's house to go pick up some more things, and clean my jeep. i walked into my room, and my dad had hung a picture up for me, it fell down a couple weeks ago and the glass broke. he re-nailed it on the wall, and had fixed it. i started to cry profusely. it was the first time since i moved out of his house. and i played with my cat for awhile, i miss her SO much. she just looks and me and it's like "why did you leave me here?" and it majes me want to cry even harder. there are no words to describe the way i feel towards my dad, i don't think i can live there anymore, but there are so many things that i miss, and it appears that he's almost making an effort. he leaves me my mail in a little pile, re-hangs my picture... i don't know. but he won't let me be my own person... and that's what i need.
ben and i were suposed to do something last night, but when he phoned me after soccer practice he was just too tired to do anything. which is sad, because i really wanted to see him. it's strange, i just always want to be with him. i know that not "strange" per say, but i'm now used to feeling this way, i'm used to feeling, that's nice, i have something to do tonight instead of washing my hair or doing laundry. so instead, i had a tea with Celina, she's from one of my classes, she's cool, but very opinionated. that may be why we get along.
anyway, i have a final today, and i have some things i'd like to get done. wish me luck.

1:15 p.m. - 2004-11-25

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